Siz Promises Clean Slap

Just when I thought Sunday twitter has lost its spark, last night black twitter erupted when @SizweDhlomo fired shots at one of our twelebs, @UnDeaniable. It was actually a peaceful Sunday until Sizwe Dhlomo decided to feed us his flawed wisdom and it backfired as always however this time he failed to retain his cool. 

We've learn to accept that Sizwe thinks he's brilliant in his head, and he tweets about everything from Politics, Sport, Music, Philosophy and Geography but my question is are there people who really use Down and South synonymously? South Town, Down Point, I fell south? Down Africa? I don't know but hey Dean come out and tweeted, 

"You don't say?" clean mention, we should've known at this point that Dean was going down, his mentions come with memes but not in this instance. Dean is one of a Black Twitter's resident tweleb, he's mostly famous for his remarkable meme game and other tweleb things. He normally tweets Sizwe, playfully and brother Siz will reply with a LOL or whatever but last night was different, his response was 

The intensity escalated from 0 to 1000, Sizwe got us shocked, got us thinking we probably read "You don't say?" wrong. Sizwe has this thing of calling "randoms" off, he is actually a cyber bully and has this thing of squashing anyone he thinks are coming at him, in a nutshell he wants us to be scared of him, so you have to mention him with caution, check your grammar, spelling and make sure what you are saying is inline with his tweet or your mentions will be turned into Small Street in Down Town Jozi. We have learned to love accept him the way that he is, he's our tweeting encyclopedia after all. Last night the bomb ticked, unnecessarily so, maybe the question mark made him mad or he was tired if being trolled my Dean but he wasn't suppose to be nice to him all this time, he was suppose to nip him in the bud but anyway his response would've sound better in Zulu "Ungangijwayeli, angiyena umngani wakho!" they are both Zulu mos. Poor Dean's response oozed emotions a bit, probably he tweeted that with teary eyes but had to keep is cool, and unfamiliarize himself. But he just couldn't let go,

As we were still familiarizing ourself with that tweet he got violent, craziest shit ever, he's promising the lil guy Impama, I read that and I thought he must be hacked, he can't afford to break a nail over twitter but home boy wasn't playing, we've seen people arrange fighting dates but this was a big deal because Sizwe is respectable Black Twitter member, we were in awe just like Dean, I wonder what was going through his head, probably thinking, 

For the first time he felt like an ant among elephants, felt what it is like to be south, and be kicked while you down there because Sizwe couldn't stop, he kept pressing. @Choki_D tried to destruct home boy but no success... 

“@Choki_D: Sizwe? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂RT @SizweDhlomo: So next thing is impama ke, clean. @UnDEANiable”

“@Choki_D: @SizweDhlomo @UnDEANiable yeyi stop it man. You being silly for a human who is smart with tweets.”

“@SizweDhlomo: No ukuthi uyajwayela. Kufunele ngibuye ngimvuse kancane... @Choki_D @UnDEANiable”

Siz is just out to get the guy and we still don't know what really got him mad, but we were entertained. Black twitter over reacts to everything and they were out with guns blazing... 

Bonga is tight with Dean and he ain't about to drop a gig for him, a gig that is held at Capello Buzz geographically situated in the North of Joburg which happens to be owned by Siz, poor Dean, now he gotta watch his movement because Siz's clean hand is itching to slap him. Black twitter knows the kind of person he is but he was Super Saiyan 5, unstoppable...

“@SizweDhlomo: Wait your turn please... "@MokayIsShady: Calm ur tits "@SizweDhlomo: So next thing is impama ke, clean. @UnDEANiable""”

“@SizweDhlomo: Nah, it's not even that, you can bring it if you can stand for it. RT @Nic0Milan: @SizweDhlomo is a no reckless tweet zone”

“@lindarni: You're being a girl right now @sizwedhlomo but it's whatever!”

“@SizweDhlomo: My dude, I promise you I'll make you famous some other time okay? Just be patient. @lindarni”

Second tweleb down, Siz's mission is on the right track, dude kept pressing this whole thing even lost flavor because we now confused, we not sure if he's being serious or he is playing but was hoping he's leaning more on the former, I'm tired of empty threats...

Dean is 23? And this still pressing, what happened to picking on people your own age? Creep. But at this point we getting annoyed cause we dealing with a crazy person who wants to beat up juniors and he was very disrespectful to Dean, like he ain't shit and he doesn't know what the guy is about outside memes and stuff. 

“@SizweDhlomo: I'd just fit him in. RT @KingOblivy: i guess Dean's lucky his beat down isn't scheduled. I've seen @sizwedhlomo set dates, time & all. LOL!.”

“@SizweDhlomo: I'm already the bigger person here... in all ways... "@tgmalinga82: @SizweDhlomo play nyc nw boys..Mkhabela b da bigger person n let it go"”

Well this is a bit crazy, this guy is for reals, and insulting the poor tweleb but he realised that he is getting carried away and he tweeted, 

“@SizweDhlomo: I'm just messing with you Twitter. "I like happy things, I'm really calm & peaceful. I like birds, bees, I like people..." 😂”

You are Sizwe Dhlomo and you wanna mess around? He probably thinks we are his Popeyes or he just likes attention, and he doesn't even mean that, what are quotation marks for? But black twitter doesn't care, they went in hard and Dean was Ray Charles to everything shem...

“@Sneshy_Weshy: SIZ on Twitter “@UnDEANiable: NCIS on SABC 2”

“@Valerie_VW: Is he going to wear gloves or nah? "@Md_Oooh: Is Siz gonna go to The Link Up to deliver the mpama to Dean or nah?”

“@uDosa_: Dean has beeeen working on his fitness though. I see a second scar on Siz's face”

“@Sisi_Sasha: Can we focus on Sizwe saying he is big in all ways. I wanna dissect that.”

“@alma2sa: Eceleni kwekhala mlaleli! "@Noxy_Duma: Nangoke u Sizwe wasondela ku Dean wasondela uSizwe Sizwe nanguya elula ingalo wasiveeeeza isandla..."”

We had winners...

“@LulamaMevana: "Ndakubamba ngo left, ngikubambe ngo right. KweDEANi I will hurt u"- @SizweDhlomo aka Skatter Brain”

“@iamtsiki: Now you are starting to bore us RT @SizweDhlomo: I'd dust that ninja & give him time to make memes about it in between the slaps...”

“@Lushovah: Sizwe uDeanekile”

“@SnehGumede: Experience taught you RT @IamClaro: @UnDEANiable don't bro. Never ends well.”

“@Vusani_: Siz sounds proper pissed off. I Dean see that one coming.”

“@MsNodada: UyamSIZela ? RT @RATCHET_MOEsha Awu DEANwanga? “@LuloCafe: 3rd hour into my set!!! Midconer Sebokeng baby!!!!”

Then as we were having fun, laughing and stuff, poor Morale wanted in on the fun, not knowing he's opening a can of worms, got twelebs at their fragile state since one of them has fallen...

“@SizweDhlomo: LOL! You've seen me handle business Mo... I promise I'm a changed man now. RT @MoraleVeritaz: @SizweDhlomo Chisa Mpama!!!!”

Then dogs got on his ass since he can't have any opinion until he works on his struggling rap career. Rappers seem to be having lots of fun there by twitter than in the studio but twitter is unkind, at least the mic doesn't talk back. Sizwe on the other is still trying to give us an idea of how much of a "Sgora" he is. 

“@SnehGumede: Yena kanye! Uzophapha la ngabe wenz' umcul' osile RT @Deekay_nhla: Usho lo o'Useless??  "@SnehGumede: Ungenaphi ke lo? ----> @MoraleVeritaz”

“@lindarni: Kahle ke wena! Downcoming rapper.  RT @MoraleVeritaz: SizweDhlomo Chisa Mpama!!!!”

“@lindarni: You came in when this topic was as exhausted as your rap career @moraleveritaz”

“@lindarni: We've seen more twelebs on tv this year than you @moraleveritaz, you are just part of black twitter now. Not a celeb.”

Now Morale is catching splits, he doesn't deserve this but in a group of buffalos, as a lion it is good to go for the weak one, Lindani went in hard to redeem himself and the twelebs at large but didn't cover the score Sizwe has set. In the midst of it all, Lishian stopped to think..

“@Lushovah: When you guys are done laughing, please tell me what Dean did wrong. I'll wait.”

But no one paid mind to him it was already out of control but if we were to think as well, why was Sizwe mad in the first place?! But Sizwe closed off with a dynamite and left and Dean was quiet about the whole thing just giggling from a sore place. 

“@SizweDhlomo: LOL! Ngigwajisa enye inyoni nje... RT @LuloCafe: @SizweDhlomo hehe wenzani?”

That's what the uproar was about, we don't know exactly from which place this bitterness is coming from but we heard Sizwe, now he has earned some form of respect but every dog has its day on Black Twitter he mustn't get too comfortable. 

Comics by @RonPipes. 

Ntsiki Mazwai takes on Brickz Mabrigadi

@NtsikiMazwai is trying too hard to be relevant, I wonder why she ain't as busy like her sister. Ntsiki seems to be stepping on a lot of celebs toes, first it was Bonang, Dineo Ranaka then AKA now he's on Brickz toes. A couple of days ago Power FM tweeted about Brickz and Ntsiki RTed it on her TL then subtweeted; 

Wasn't she taking drugs as well? Or I'm the one high? Anyway she went on a rant, killing Brickz though she made it seem like she's feeling for him. She is going on like she knows for sure that Brickz is taking drugs or maybe they were taking them together, who knows!? 

Brickz is a creep, the kind of creep I dislike on Black Twitter, the creep that makes it hard for you to subtweet, the creeps that search their names. Brickz searches his name and found these tweets and he made it all interesting, he found the tweets and replied; 

“BrickzMabrigado: Manje why ungphaphela Ntsiki? Like what's ur problem nsangwin? RT @ntsikimazwai: I think drugs pushed brickz over the edge- I don't think he wud be in this mess had he been a sober man”

That's just lame, hey. Ntsiki replied with some wisdom with a touch of sarcasm

“@BrickzMabrigado: Thanks. Bt ungazam' ukuzenza ngcono ngam plz sisi neiRT @ntsikimazwai: @BrickzMabrigado don't do this.......all the best and I wish you strength, grace and humility on your journey. It cant be an easy time.”

Poor Brickz. Ntsiki pressed some more and tweeted; 

Brickz got irritated by this and said

“@BrickzMabrigado: I still have ur nudes. Ungang' phapheli mina *reply on this uzozi sola* RT @ntsikimazwai: @BrickzMabrigado focus on you.....”

Lmao I'm sorry I had to laugh, we all have Ntsiki's nudes, I doubt she's be bothered by this tiny lil threat, and she replied proving that she's just not bothered 

Well, even today we are still waiting for something to happen but nothing, Ntsiki went on to say; 

We share the same sentiments but if you know a person personally as this thread suggests you can't just run your mouth esp if they have your files. A couple of days later Brickz took to twitter and tweeted 

“@BrickzMabrigado: Ntsiki Mazwai was just a booty call shem *some1 tag her plz*”

Knowing Brickz, when he fought with @SiphoTaxiDriver he tagged but in this case he decided to subtweet, why!? Anyway but what this tweet is telling us is that Ntsiki is just a bitter -ex booty call and I just can't put that past Ntsiki Mazwai, everyone she has a fall out with must have some kind of history with her. Like me, Brickz's followers asked as to why he doesn't tag her, he replied 

“@BrickzMabrigado: Angim follow-i RT @Ntuli_Smah: Usabani wena ? RT @BrickzMabrigado: Ntsiki Mazwai was just a booty call shem *some1 tag her plz*”

This alarmed tweeps and they had different reactions 

“@BrickzMabrigado: And very pretty shem RT @dumisani668: @BrickzMabrigado bekageza maar those days,coz uyazi nawe yileType esaba amanzi!”

“@BrickzMabrigado: Yama jita RT @OzzaT_: Booty call yakho? "@BrickzMabrigado: Ntsiki Mazwai was just a booty call shem *some1 tag her plz*"”

“@BrickzMabrigado: Thanks RT @Nasty_Cumbs: "you're childish RT " @BrickzMabrigado: Ntsiki Mazwai was just a booty call shem *some1 tag her plz*""”

“@JoderQueMierda: You still ate that thing doe :') "@BrickzMabrigado: Ntsiki Mazwai was just a booty call shem *some1 tag her plz*"”

We just take everything on the TL so we now know that Ntsiki was being snacked by Brickz and friends. Brickz's brains came back and he apologized to his friends for his filthy tweets since it is women's month 

“@BrickzMabrigado: With all due respect to my lady followers. This lady was out of line wt that "drug tweet" and she is not an angel herself. How do you even judge me before the court's ruling #HappyWomensMonth”

Lol Brickz was really touched and I totally understand, Ntsiki needs to get off her high moral lift, she ain't as amazing as she thinks she is. She's always trying to save people with her flawed wisdom that comes with a touch of bullshit. 

The Life Cycle of an Instigator

Mondays are becoming Black Twitter's favorite days, people just have best tweeting material on Mondays and that means more drama. This Monday was not any different, we were served with a plate full of drama and he who started it starts a lot of stuff on our TLs and he does it in a similar fashion, you are blessed if he have jumped his ways. @OfentseZA is a popular handle here on Black Twitter News, he doesn't change the world or anything related but he changes your TL, follow him you'll never get disconnected from cool twitter. 

What I've picked up is  Ofentse will rock up ask a very basic question that anyone can answer and relate to sort of and because black twitter has a thing for over sharing, they then share their thoughts and he comes back to share his thoughts in most cases disagreeing with most of the feedback he gets, then boom he gave us a topic. We debate, him disagreeing actually prolongs the debate, and the an idiot will deviate from the original topic to stir up drama, Ofentse notices this and launches it on the TL. He gave us a topic, a bit of drama and then he'll come back to give you some form of wisdom regarding the matter and slowly detaching himself leaving everyone fighting with everyone. That's pretty much what I've gathered about him, I might be wrong. 

Today was not any different, same drill, same reaction involving the same people and you'll notice that it is not even about him but he's the central hub. So Ofentse rocked up; 

 “@OfentseZA: But why are girls bothered by "what you did in the past", how does it influence their future or decision?”

“@OfentseZA: Why does it matter?, you were not there mos”

Those are really good questions though I feel us as females are hardly bothered by what he was up to in the past or where he has been sticking his penis, it's mostly males who bothered by this. A man who's been around is not bad compared to a female that has been around according to twitter standards, I live on black twitter and I feel it's really crazy, both ways, you and your partner have no business knowing each other's past unless it'll help your relationship go forward. See what others had to say, 

“@Pantsula_4_life: @OfentseZA no one wants to find out their bf was fucking the village bicycles.”

“@_KingMal_: Why is Every1 else bothered "@OfentseZA: But y r girls bothered by "what u did in the past",how does it influence their future or decision?”

First mention, he WAS a village bicycle now you the only one riding him, why is you bothered? I don't get it, Queen Mal speaks in codes, I don't get where that comes from. Fefe went on to affirm his point 

“@OfentseZA: I agree with Mak & Mo, medi di dom...some of y'll get put off by people someone slept with in the past *shrugs*”

“@OfentseZA: Why are y'll bothered by the past, does someone's resume really make em attractive vele?”

“@OfentseZA: I mean they fucked, why you making it your business?, he/she wants you mos & you want em, why you auditing the past then?”

We share the same sentiments but the ladies ain't hearing Ofeeezy, they don't agree at all.

“@NoniMsi: Men too RT @OfentseZA: I agree with Mak & Mo, medi di dom...some of y'll get put off by people someone slept with in the past *shrugs*”

“@OfentseZA: I really don't care hey, rather say "some" @NoniMsi”

Ok, Ofentse felt it's okay to put women in one basket and calls us dumb but defends men with "some"? Fair game, is it not? Anywho Noni has a point, I feel he should've asked his questions generally and not make it be about women. 

“@OfentseZA: What's a village bicycle though?, who are you to give that title?”

We are called bread, whores and the likes, this question is funny. 

“@OfentseZA: What if s/he is the village bicycle?, why you making it your business vele?”

“@OfentseZA: So what if he slept with the "Village Bicycle", I mean he likes you and you like him mos, why you still playing black mampatile?”

“@OfentseZA: Village Bicycle to you, Queen to me, tsa mo nyela shap shap!”

Cute, Ofentse has a point actually but we not here for his wisdom, let me not get carried away shem. 

“@2uli: Yep. But uyazi Fentse there are people who are a no go "@OfentseZA: Problem is y'll genuinely stay labeling people for having sex!!”

“@OfentseZA: Why you bothered if you not looking in that direction “@zimnandi: Abo zonke bonke! "OfentseZA: What's a "No Go" person, elaborate? @2uli"””

“@OfentseZA: Pots stay calling the kettle black”

So much passion 

“@OfentseZA: Only way it will is if it's in my circle of friends, if not we on “@DannyDope1: How does your partners history affect you?skatlo nnyela””

Wajika uDludlu waba uDladla LOL I thought boys don't care, they share everything. 

“@OwaMelato_O: La nyobana & the person says "ppl must never know abt us. Not a single soul" eventually u get tired & tell someone kante ur number 6”

“@OwaMelato_O: All the other 5 had been told the same thing & they eventually found out from each other. Wena ur here respecting code number msela”

As we were still marinating in that someone deviated completely, 

“@OfentseZA: Tlogela bo petty, rotten tart ke eng? “@JabbuM: You think you bricking me... Kanti I'm sliding You a rotten tart.. Lol””

“@OfentseZA: So was the "title" given before or after you chow? “@JabbuM: OfentseZA ke sfebe.. Petty? Lol sho.””

Then the topic shifted from the original topic, I'm just tryna show you how cool twitter can be circled around what one person brings on the TL, I doubt if someone else responded to that tweet it would start drama. 

“@OfentseZA: One day the bread y'll talk about is gonna shame you on the TL, and tell you ga wa ja...wena just continue being Rambo, ro go tshega rona!”

“@OfentseZA: The bread is gonna shame you one day, I/We won't have your back, ONS GAAN LAG!!”

“@OfentseZA: Outchea calling other girls bread but you ain't ever seen em naked, y'll stay playing dibs, I'm just waiting for the day ALBANY has enough”

“@OfentseZA: The day the bread becomes a loaf is gonna be funny hey, bystanders are gonna be called out :"D”

#BreadDefenseForce on steroids, we appreciate the fact that he is on our side he might actually make a good male feminists though he thinks females are dumb. He has a point, since this bread trend broke it has all we've been eating and it's normally the people who are not even having a slice of that bread that have the loudest mouth and one day it'll really get dirty. 

“@OfentseZA: Dean. Linda and Mdu are the biggest "bread" shamers on the TL, I pray they legit evidence when the audit comes :"D”

There's gon be an audit? Umh I don't know but we will be here to cover it. He's actually they are the biggest shammers we don't know if they playing or they really know something about the bread stock. 

“@UnDEANiable: I ain't shame no bread tho. Don't even know what this "bread" yall talk of.”

“@Md_Oooh: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I will be on sick leave on the day of that audit”

Linda was not available for comments. 

Someone threatened someone regarding this, we don't know who this person is tweeting about but Ofentse launched the bomb on our TLs 

“@OfentseZA: Let me stop instigating, I'm just messing around y'll”

He done messed up, and he tweeted this before the biggest missile was launched. 

“@Lessy_sego: So cute when oomf calls other kidz bread but we know he was dumped coz he's small 🙈🐸☕”

Hey, look our up and coming club ambassador, she just can't stay away from trouble. She dropped this and people went crazy trying to discover who is this boy who was dumped because of his small penis. Ofentse was actually right that tables will turn, here is it, the girl made our day. 

“@OfentseZA: It's about to get messy, it is about to get real messy”

And boy it did.

“@Aya_Mohaika: Bhala amakoporoshi mara mawufika online ucamba amanga uthi wena wenza I karma sutra embhedeni......”

“@SBOSHMBUNJANA_: Ende ke guys with small pipi'a are the most disrespectful ones. Small pipi syndrome”

“@uGugu_Lo: As small as it is you still let him hit so who's the loser here?”

“@sugargirlYSL: Plus these broads will still tyisa yol, with your small penis's so everyone just relax.”

Some were agreeing and some felt it was just unnecessary but no one wondered about the boy with a small penis and she who dumped her because of his small penis. I was more interested in that. 

“@OfentseZA: Wait...You the ninja being subbed?  “@2laniMcKing: Ujola nomuntu unyaka wonke, kodwa uma senihlukene usenepipi elincane””

Ofeezy stirring away the attention from the bread shammers, this person was not part of that gang. Then there was progress, someone tried to find the small penis person. 

“ @Angelpuff_: RT if you know that subtweet was for you, but you tweeting a lot right now so you don't look guilty by going silent”

When Les' is onto something, but he didn't get the answers. Zimnandi came in 

“@zimnandi: Did Lesego date Belo?”

We don't know where that is coming from but we can see it suggests that Belo has a small penis but now he was not part of bread shammers.

 

He tried to redeem himself 

“@Belo007: I don't even fit none of the criteria in that subtweet but, black twitter just had to assume it's me 😭”

And then this 

“@miss_concept: Ah but yall acting shocked. We've known that nigga dick small since 2012 twitter.”

 

Shame poor guy, you just don't do that to a man. If there's any truth in all of this, he's young and it'll still grow with his last growing spurt. Tables turned and the defense force was ready to attack 

“@uZamo_: Cheri wase KONG ujwayele ama pipi angage kangaroo o my broda.. Kumele vele aringe umchamo kanje”

“@zimnandi: Oh? "@UnDEANiable: But why yall writing people's names tho? It was fun while we were laughing obliviously."”

“@zimnandi: "Ubungaziwa before iOkapi...kodwa sewusazi ama size"”

“@kabelo_masuku: Does he have a small penis or ke wena wa goba le mbobo wa double-size?”

“@kabelo_masuku: You gots that fohlo-fohlo box and  cover it up saying nigga penis is too small. Nyaka double-stick tape o kwale kuku boo, the dick is fine”

Kabelo's logic. 

Then back the person who started all of this, he is now gon detach himself from the whole drama and does so with a touch of wisdom. 

“@OfentseZA: Y'll also need to stop making full cigarettes outta stompies!”

“@OfentseZA: Guys but seriously tho, Males & Females need to stop shaming each other after shit goes sour...thought we way maturer than that”

I'm not hallucinating..

“@TwirraKing_: I blame Ofentse for instigating this topic. Now everyone knows oomf is small :(”

“@Nonku101: Ofentse  "Instigator" Magape RT @OfentseZA: I honestly did nothing wrong, I was just tweeting nna”

“@UnDEANiable: He loves drama that one. “@Nchancha_: Ofentse loves ranting!””

Anyway, see how unnecessary we can be? He put it well lol "we make full cigarettes with stompies". Thats it about Ofentse, he is responsible for all this mess. That's basically how a twitter instigator operates, he's the best of this kind. G